Monday, December 17, 2012

Love, Light, and Responsibility

When I was eighteen, and very new to the Pagan path, I had fantasies of living in a temple and serving as a priestess of old.  I had my first chat with Goddess, and begged her to open my eyes to all things.  I thought I'd be getting esoteric knowledge.

She sighed, and smiled sadly.  "Once seen, things cannot be unseen." 

I didn't listen, just assured her that I could handle it.

She's been gentle with me, but in the intervening decade, I've started to see more and more, and now I know what she was talking about.

It wasn't esoteric, magical wisdom that she granted me (although there's been a share of that, too).  My eyes slowly began to see the hurt, the madness, and the fear in the world.

Sometimes, it feels like my heart is breaking.  Sometimes, it feels hopeless.

This is why, after my first youthful daydreams, I've shied away from the title of Priestess.  I have not been ready to take responsibility for the people of the world, and I have not wanted to bear the burden of suffering that comes with service to the divine.

But the suffering is here, and the only way to combat it is to fill the world with love and light.

I try to do that, but sometimes, the darkness feels too strong.  After global and local tragedies especially, I feel almost hopeless.


But I refuse to let darkness win.  I will spread love and light one small piece at a time.  Even if it just means smiling at the man on the corner and meeting his gaze.

I'm not quite ready for the responsibility of Priestess, but I might be getting closer.

Do one beautiful thing today.